The dating app for lavender marriages
Lavinder is where lavender marriages begin: a partner for life, a home, kids if you want them, and romance in whatever shape it takes for you. You match on the life you want, not on a photo.
Almost there! Check your inbox and click the link to confirm.
We only ask for your email for now.
You get a short daily selection, matched on the life you both want.
A conversation has 48 hours to become real. If it doesn’t, it closes.
Money, sex, kids, home. You both say it before the first hello.
I kept watching women around me give up. Not on love, on the way we’re told to find it. Some decided being alone was safer.
Then I noticed what people kept describing as the dream: a best friend to share a life with. A home, company, maybe kids, without the script.
Some call it a lavender marriage. I call it choosing your person. Lavinder is where you can go looking for it on purpose.
The founder of Lavinder
We match on the life you want and keep your time for the people who matter.
Money, sex, kids, living arrangements, timeline. Tell us once, deal-breakers first.
A short daily selection matched on your expectations, and at most five active conversations.
A conversation lasts 48 hours. At 20 messages exchanged on both sides, it becomes permanent. Outside contact details are shared only if you both agree.
Most apps are built to keep you scrolling. Lavinder is built so you can stop looking.
Most dating appsSwipe through hundreds of profiles.
LavinderA short daily selection.
Most dating appsAs many open chats as you can keep up with.
LavinderFive at most, so each one gets your attention.
Most dating appsChats that drag on for weeks, then fade.
Lavinder48 hours to get somewhere. The good ones stay.
Most dating appsKids, money, sex, where to live: found out months in.
LavinderAnswered before the first message.
A photo says nothing about whether two people want the same future. Our matching starts from what you both expect.
Kids, sex, money, whatever you can’t compromise on. If two people disagree there, we don’t introduce them.
The percentage shows how closely your answers line up. Popularity plays no part in it.
Photos stay blurred until you both agree, so the first impression is what someone wants from life.
Five questions about the life you want, including the ones other apps avoid. Then mark what you won’t compromise on, the way you will in the app.
Your answers are counted anonymously to help us build Lavinder. They’re never linked to you or to your email.
A profile built on your expectations, a short selection, a conversation that moves forward. Interface preview, fictional content.
Mark what is non-negotiable.
3 compatible profiles today.
However you love, if you want something that lasts, you belong here.
Lavinder only works if both sides show up wanting the same thing.
If you’re a man who wants a home, a family and a real partner, and you’re done performing the script, this was built for you too.
Lavinder is under construction. Here is what we commit to from day one.
Every account is verified with an email or a phone number, so there is a real person behind every profile. Your contact details are never shown to other members, and no legal name is required.
We cannot read your conversations.
Neutral name and icon, passcode lock, notifications without content.
A conversation that ends is erased from the server and from the device.
Private does not mean anonymous: accounts are verified, and a screenshot is still possible. We explain the limits rather than hide them.
It’s where the idea comes from. We keep the best of it: companionship, a chosen family, a life built as a team. We leave the rest behind: nobody here is hiding anything or playing a part.
People who want a committed partnership and want to define it themselves: a forever companion, a co-parent, a marriage built on friendship, a love that looks like nobody else’s. Women, men, whoever you are and however you love: if you know the life you want and are looking for someone who wants it too, you’re in the right place.
We’re building it now. The waitlist is the first to hear when it opens.
Joining the waitlist is free. Pricing for the app isn’t set yet, and the waitlist will hear about it before launch.
It’s used for one thing: telling you about the launch. You confirm it with a link we send you, and every email has an unsubscribe link.
No cookies and no advertising trackers. We count visits, where they come from and the answers to the matching preview, anonymously: nothing is linked to you or to your email. If your browser sends a “do not track” signal, we don’t count you at all.
No, and we’d rather say so. Accounts are verified so there is a real person behind every profile. What you get is privacy: your contact details are never shown to other members, no legal name is required, and photos stay blurred until you both agree.
Because open-ended chats tend to fade without anyone deciding anything. 48 hours is enough to find out whether you want to keep talking. Once 20 messages have been exchanged on both sides, the conversation stays for good.
Join the waitlist and be the first to hear when Lavinder opens.
Join the waitlist